Why Do We Lie About Ourselves When Dating Online?


There are two ways of thinking about online dating. It is either a convenient way of finding a partner without leaving your home, or it’s a cesspool of desperate wackos who cling to their final chance to find a mate. Regardless of the way you think of online dating, there is always a temptation to exaggerate your better sides online. Of course, the more desperate you are the more made-up your bio is going to be. But even if you feel absolutely confident while creating an account on… let’s say primedating, the idea to appear a bit younger than you actually are comes to your head. 

There is always a deception in representing ourselves both in online and offline dating. After all, we prefer to emphasize our best sides and turn a blind eye to our flaws. And it is easy to understand why. After all, when attracting a prospective partner you unlikely would tell that you are a professional whiner who constantly complaints about how life is unfair to him. But that’s just how marketing works. Actually, hiding certain facts about yourself doesn’t count as a straightforward lying. However, if you are telling your prospective partner that you’ve participated in military operations in Libya, while in reality, you haven’t, that counts as a lie. But why do we lie online? Let’s check out the most common reasons.


Fear is the most typical reason for lying online. And it adds to the favorite theory that online dating is for the desperate and hopeless ones. You don’t feel confident enough, so you start creating an alternative persona, who is way stronger and smarter than you actually are. And you continue amounting your lies, as you start liking your alter-ego. You simply fear to be yourself, as you consider yourself to be a loser offline, and you definitely don’t want to be one online. There is a downside, however. When it comes to offline dates, you won’t be able to present your alter-ego in the real world. But you don’t think of that, as fake it till you make it becomes your motto in your online dating deception. 

It’s Just Easier to Lie Online 

The second reason is plain and simple as it is, people lie just because they can. And online dating provides you with more possibilities to lie about yourself than its offline counterpart. It is much harder to lie face to face with your prospective partner, but when you are communicating online, you feel absolutely okay with exaggerating a little bit of this and a little bit of that. In the end, why not? Nobody can catch you on it… until the offline date occurs. 

Attention Seeking 

In this case, you are unlikely to use an online dating service to find a partner. You feel a lack of attention in your real life, and the online dating service and your profile filled up with made-up information provide you with the level of attention that you’ve been dreaming about. There is no point in talking about an offline date in this case, as you are not interested in them. All you want is to get attention online. But, honestly, go for video blogging or something. People are trying to find their prospective partners and you are just stealing their attention. 

Mind the Consequences 

In all cases, you should avoid lying about yourself online if you are interested in finding your prospective partner. Even if your lie worked to attract someone’s attention, it will backfire sooner or later. And it doesn’t matter how big your lie was, the fact that you’ve lied already makes you appear as a deceitful person, and nobody wants to date someone like that. 


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