He has seen 12000 deaths, and has learnt 12 valuable lessons

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    In divine place of Kasi, it an age old belief that breathing their last in the holy city is sacred, and the person will be relieved of all his sins and exemption from a cycle of rebirth. Though the science, our generation intellect doesn’t believe in it, there are some who believe in the auspicious, its divinity and stay there in their final phase of lives.

    One of such guesthouses was Kashi labh Mukhti Bhavan. Bhairav Nath Shukla, had been since long been the manager of that house. He says that all, so called, categories of the rich and the poor seek the house to live out their days. He had witnessed approx 12000 members till date, and had some hard hitting incidents, which helped him to learn many things about life, and was keen to share it with us.

    Resolve all the conflicts, before you go:-

    In one such incident, he witnessed, was a person named Mihr.

     He was the eldest son in their family of seven and had the special bond with the youngest of them. But due to some differences, tension started blooming in between them and thus got separated with a wall. In his final days, he booked one of the rooms in a guesthouse where Sukhla works. He knew that he would pass by the 16th day after his arrival. In the 14th day of his stay in the Bhavan, he insisted Shukla to write a letter to his brother, with whom he had the fued, asking him to visit him. His brother came by the 16th day. The brothers exchanged pleasantries, and asking for each other’s forgiveness. The elder one, slowly closed his eyes, holding the hand of his youngest brother.

    Shukla, stresses that conflicts are inescapable,  and that waiting for them to die down, would only lead to otherwise. The case that, brothers wouldn’t have had to deal with their differences, if even one of them realised that fact, mustn’t be ignored. Such differences, only create a space of ignorance, refusal and that neither of the raged parties experiences any happiness. Conflicts come easy and can go easy too if the solution is found then and there.

    Simplicity , is the truth of life:-

    From many of his experiences as the manager of the Bhavan, he reiterated the fact that, many of them, regretted that their life, would have been a more joyful ride, if they had lived it, in simplicity.

    Simplicity basically means being satisfied in your resources. The very aim of human life, to strive for more, is their cause for discontentment. The simple fact that, billionaires like The Ambanis, who have enough many to last them, and their four generations, still work proves the blind logic of existence.

    Filter Out Bad traits in others:-

    It’s a common human trait to find other’s traits. But the uncommon thing is the fact that, we concentrate on their bad traits. It only makes us distance ourselves from them, or a thing used to mock, fight against them. But this only creates a negative image of that person, and we would put ourselves in the position of forgetting all the good he or she has done for us.

    Shukla says that if people dwelled on other’s positive habits, it creates an atmosphere of trust, belief, strengthens their bond, and in few cases, you may even start loving that person.

    Be willing to seek help from others:-

    One such time, he remembers, a family came to drop old women to live out her final days in peace. Something happened, and the members hastily left the place without filling the check-in form. Later, when police had enquired him of the old woman’s family, he realised that they were Naxalites. Later when the family visited again, Shukla yelled at them asking, why they had brought their grandmother to Kasi, instead of just shooting her like they always did ,and making him lie about their details. One of them fell to Shukla’s feet crying, saying that they will never be pardoned by God for their deeds, and thus wouldn’t keep their Nanni at peace.

    Find beauty in simple things:-

    Shukla states that he has the habit of playing devotional songs or bhajans at his place of work. He points to the fact that few stop by to listen to a note or two, they appreciate the songs and carry on with their work. But many of them, are too busy to even spare a thought, as they feel, of ‘being’ occupied with their works. They deny themselves a chance to listen to the soul-striking songs, and thus being in constant state of unrest, stress.

    Take a moment of you paced out lives, to enjoy simple facts, like antiques your dog does when you visit it after a long gap, or the taste of your favourite food item, spotting which your mouth starts to ache.

    Acceptance is liberation:-

    There are always problems in our life, which we don’t consider. We deny them. Shukla says that, denying the problem, causes anxiety in oneself, he begins to fear that problem more than facing it. If it weren’t the case of deniability, you know what the problem is, and can act as a solution.

    Acceptance of one’s inability to do a thing, allows him to make out time and space, where he can give himself an opportunity to identify and improve himself.

    Accepting everyone is the same, does the trick:-

    In his case, Shukla, mentions that his job of accommodating various people, of different casts, religions is a taxing job. It takes a lot of determination and strength to offer services to them. The simple fact that he served all his multiple categorised people by filtering out all their differences. He treated everyone equally, thus not having to worry about offending them.

    The offense occurs when people complain about not being treated equally. It maybe for women, or lower caste people. Thus we, when are faced in such situations of having to face different variety, just do not make a deal out of it, address everyone with equal punctuality.

    If and when you find your purpose, go for it:-

    Humans, being the most intelligent form of species in the world, are victims of stereotypes. They create, or are made to create their boundaries, thus not giving themselves to pursue their interests. Their purpose of life become dithered. It matters common sense, to realise that the person who manages your life can’t see your purpose or the idea of life, thus may not agree about it. You are the only person who must believe in the whole world, not your parents, or your relatives.

    Choose what you want to learn:-

    Shukla, realised that in last phases of life, a person no more mingles with others. That is when he start re-living his life up to then, realising the decisions, he made, and those he could have made. Vast is the universe, much more vast is the knowledge. Parents, or the decision makers of your life, would always want you to take particular studies, in which they see that you can make a settled life for yourself and your further family. You must know what interests you, after all, its your life, and you must be responsible for your decisions.

    One must realise that he doesn’t simply forget a person, but his ideologies:-

    In many cases, with people you love, or like being around, suddenly would mean nothing to you. It might be small or major issues that cause such differences between you and him. You might think that you can forget him and that he will never come into your life again. Now, that is to be fair, never a possibility, thanks to your mind. You can’t control it, it controls you. It somehow stores his info permanently, keeps reverting his details into you. In cases such as divorces, you are separated from that person physically, but not mentally.

    A part of your earning must be devoted to social works:-

    Every Indian must have it their mind that, social service is the best service. Many people, at their closing stages of life, realise this, and start their donations, Dharma acts. Such people thus enjoy a content life being with the loved ones, have people who would care for him  and cry at his behest.