Seven years ago, she was 20, her parents have chosen a husband for her, she did not know him. Two weeks after the wedding, the man began to abuse it says Neehaari Mandali, physically, psychologically, sexually. If he was too lazy to go to the bathroom, he used a container next to the bed as a toilet. Neehaari Mandali then had to clean it. When her husband her one morning was a bill, as payment for the last night, they left the apartment and went to her parents. The gave her to understand that she would have to return to her husband. Her mother said that she had told her before the marriage: They have problems, but they find themselves with them from. One must make compromises, especially as a woman. This was now time part of their culture.
Neehaari Mandali, two months pregnant, is worried….with Petroleum,she doused in her parents’ bedroom . Her father noticed the smell, broke open the door and sent them into the shower. But she did not turn on the faucet. She thought of her despotic husband, her child, it would be a girl like hopelessness imminent. Neehaari took the matchbox from her pocket. A match by one they moved over the friction surface, but her hand trembled, none went to. Only the last ignited. The pain had been terrible, says Neehaari Mandali, she ran into the kitchen, her father poured water on them again and again until his daughter no longer burned. Then he brought her to the hospital.
Why was about to die in this way? “Because it was possible,” says Neehaari Mandali. Petroleum and matches to get lighter than tablets. And almost everyone in India knows victims of self-immolations or arson attacks. She herself grew up with the knowledge that a cousin had been trying in this way to kill herself because she did not want to bow to the will of their parents. Her skin was burned to ninety percent, Neehaari has never seen. She also has a friend who wanted to burn and survived. Even more common are the women victims of attacks. When men women fire – there are almost always men – it was a deliberate attack on their femininity. They are to be disfigured.
She was very pretty, a clear and harmonious face, large, dark eyes. On the eyes can be seen still, they look exactly the same testing as in the picture. She says that she does not back want her face. She was just happy to have survived.In her old life, she was immature, unable to cope with problems. Now they have the chance to grow up.
DR.Hari Kiran Chekuri, who is the surgeon of Neehari Mandali, made her to be in a perfect condition when she is in 55% severe burnt condition with free of cost.
It took several years before they could see it that way. At the hospital, she still wished her father could not save them. She had third-degree burns, the most severe stage, all skin layers are then damaged, the skin can no longer heal itself, transplants are needed. The child she had lost. Nine times had surgery, now she can move her head back and talk articulated. The hands should have been treated immediately physiotherapy, which was missed. Therefore, the fingers are bent.
Neehaari Mandalis mother visited her in the hospital, practised writing with her and to hold a fork. The courage she could not return it. The only succeeded her little brother, about three years ago. “The looks like the devil,” said one day a friend to him. “Do not talk about my sister,” said Neehaaris brother, who is now nine. He never played again with the boy.
Neehaari Mandali says, on the day they’ve stopped taking antidepressants.Someone she loved as she is. That was all she needed.
Free at last
She moved into her own apartment in the city Hyderabad 300 kilometres away from their home. She was free, her husband had filed for divorce. She enrolled for a correspondence course in political science and obtained by means of a doctor who had treated her, a place in a plastic surgery clinic. The other staff had treated them condescendingly because of their appearance, bossed them, she says. Then she got a more important position, it is now the contact person for patients. Hair transplants, liposuction, breast augmentations are the most common procedures. In the future, the clinic will also pay greater attention to fire victims.
It has now made her an office available in the hospital, from where they will build their organisation. When she’s back in India, it will start working. Media appearances, a campaign that is the goal. It must be known so that women victims could turn to them. At the Book Fair in Frankfurt, where she has presented with Ann-Christine Woehrl the photo book, in which she is ready, she met high-ranking Indian politicians. She wants to make sure that the book in India appears. It would be a sign to retrieve a first step, women like Neehaari Melani from the periphery to the mainstream of society.
She, #NeehariMandali , now as NGO taking a lead of a TRUST known as “BURN SURVIVOR TRUST”. Her intention is to make the burn survivors physically & mentally perfect in their condition and to make believe in themselves that they still have their own beautiful life behind and to make them stand on their own feet….
She is most inspired of #TRIVIKRAM SRINIVAS dialogues…
This is one of the inspired dialogue of her life by Trivikram Srinivas… ” In order to gain the Victory in the battle, there is no need of killing the Enemy, Just we should defeat the enemy… ( In Telugu: యుద్ధంలో గెలవడమంటే శత్రువుని చంపడంకాదు శత్రువుని ఓడిoచడం )
WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU NEEHARI MANDALI….
HANDS-OFF to your nature, courage & humour..!!!
All the Best!!!
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